Monday, July 29, 2013

Why student fails in exam ???????

It's not the fault of the student if he/shefails, Because the year has an 'ONLY 365' days.
Typical academic year for a student.


1. Sundays-52,Sundays in a year, which are rest days. Balance 313 days.


2. Summer holidays-50 where weather is very hot and difficult to study. Balance 263 days.


3. 8 hours daily sleep-means 122 days. Balance 141 days.


4. 1 hour for daily playing-(good for health)means 15 days.


Balance 126 days.


5. Two hours daily for food & other delicacies(chewproperly & eat)-means 30days. Balance 96 days.


6. 1 hour for talking (man is a social animal)-means 15 days .


Balance 81 days.


7. Exam days per year atleast 35 days. Balance 46 days.


8. Quarterly, Half yearly and festival holidays -40 days. 

Balance days.

9. For sickness atleast 3 days. Balance 3 days.


10. Movies and functions atleast 2 days. Balance 1 day.

11. That 1 day is your birthday.



"How can a student pass??"

How guys select the girl they want to marry....



A man is dating three women and wants to decide which to marry.
>
> He decides to give them a test. He gives each woman a present of $5,000
and watches to see what they do with the money.
>
> The first does a total makeover. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets
her hair done, purchases new make-up and buys several new
> outfits, and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she
has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so
much.
>
> The man is impressed.
>
> The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts.
>
> She gets him a new set of STRONG golf clubs, some new gizmos for his
computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she
> tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him
so much.
>
> Again, the man is impressed.
>
> The third invests the money in the stock market.
>
> She earns several times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5000 and
reinvests the remainder in a joint account.
>
> She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves
him so much. Obviously, the man was impressed.
>
> The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the
money.
>
> Guess which lady he chose to marry?
>
> > > > (scroll down for the answer)
> > >
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> > > > > >
> > >
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* > > > > > > > He married the most beautiful one!!!!!!
> > >
* > > > > > > > Men are Men,!!!

How to write an Indian commercial love letter!

My dear Fair & Lovely (Ek tukda chand ka), 

You are my TVS Scooty (first love) & also my Aiwa (pure passion). I always BPL (Believe in the best) & you areSansui (better than the best). You are McDowell's (Mera No. 1) love. I believe in Freshiya (gorepan se jyada, khoobsurti ka vaada) & you are most beautiful in this world. 

I think of you day & night when you give one & only smile. You are Domino's Pizza (delivering million smiles a day) for me. This is Colgate Gel Energy Fresh(seriously fresh) feeling for me. I would like you to be my life-partner. 

I think you are worried about your father who isKawasaki Bajaj (the unshakeable) & also thinking of my father who is Ceat (born tough) but don't worry, I'm alsoFord Icon (the Josh machine) & rest of our family members are Kelvinator (the coolest one). If they say no, we will run away, marry & Philips (let's make things better). 

For them, it would be Mirinda (zor ka jhatka, dheere se lage) & our thinking will be Coca-Cola (jo chaho ho jaaye, Coca-Cola enjoy). Trust in God who is alwaysNokia (connecting people) those who love each other &Wills (made for each other). Once this happens,Samsung (everyone's invited) in our love. 

We will be Hero Honda (leading the way) of our life. Then our life would be Bolero (break-free). Now that Hyundai(We are listening) the songs of our life, you must realise that love is Dairy Milk (the real taste of life), Satyam Online (fun, fast, easy), Parx (always comfortable) & also Amul (the taste of India). 

For me Home Trade (life means more). So, never forget me & I know that I have written very little because I am your own Pepsi (yeh dil maange more).

Friday, July 19, 2013

Swiss Bank issue

"While cutting hair, the official Barber asked the Minister Kapil Sibal,
‘’What’s this Swiss Bank issue?”

Kapil Sibal shouted, “YOU, you are you cutting hair or conducting an inquiry?”
Barber: Sorry Sir, I just asked.

Next day, while cutting the hair, he asked President Pranab Mukherjee,
“Sir, what’s this Black money issue?’’

Pranab shouted, ‘’Why did you ask me this question?’’

Barber: ‘’Sorry Sir, just asked you’’

Next day, CBI interrogated the Barber, ‘’Are you an agent of Baba Ramdev?’’

Barber: No Sir.

CBI: Are you the agent of Anna Hazare?

Barber: No Sir.

CBI: Then while cutting the hair, why do you ask Congress Ministers about
Swiss Bank and Black money issues?

Barber: Sir, I do not know why, when I ask about Swiss Bank or Black money, Congress Ministers’ hairs stand up straight; and that helps me to cut the hair easily; that’s why I keep asking."